Restored

I have never been interested in restoring anything, for when it has served it’s useful purpose, it should be replaced.

Yet you like to hold on to things.

Yes there are things I would love to still possess. If I could have restored my old Clio, I would have. If I could drive my Rx7 again I would love to. If I could keep anything material, it would be a garage full of those cars that housed so many precious memories.

For it is the experience that is so memorable to you.

For you don’t even remember the vehicle you drove with the one you love on your first adventure together.

Does that not surprise you?

Not really, as the experience of her, the joy of being with her overrides any other thing. I remember what it was like to be loved by her, to embrace her, and to be held by her. To see the joy on her face, was like a beacon shining over the atmosphere, across the land.

I can see you are waiting for me to comment, to say that you are so sentimental, to disregard that which you regard, to diminish your dearest desire.

But here I am with my arms open wide.

For I am the one who holds your hand.

For I am the one who holds your hand.

For I have hold of you.

For I am not letting go.

Yet you only remember how she looked, how she felt, what she looked at, how she walked, how she invited you in, how she moved, and what she was moved by.

You don’t consider yourself, your reflection is only upon her.

If she is sad, you are sad.

If she is mad, you are sad.

If she is concerned, you are concerned.

If she is joyful, you are apprehensive.

If she embraces you, you wonder how long this moment will last.

Yet how is it you regard yourself?

I do not consider myself worthy.

How long will you sit in this dungeon of despair?

Your face is my light, your presence is all I desire.

You could feel it last night couldn’t you, you know what I am talking about.

I could feel your hand under my chin, gently lifting my head up, your words echoing in my ears…

For I am lifting up my countenance towards you.

What is your response?

If I consider you worthy of my greatest affection, how will you consider yourself?

I am confronted again by your goodness, your intent, your desire, your mercy, your grace, your power, your passion, your greatness.

For you remember the warmth of her touch, the warmth of her embrace.

And then the announcement, the proclamation, the prophetic question from her lips…

Does this mean we are boyfriend and girlfriend?

What wonderful words, what a glorious question, what an expression of desire.

Yet you did not know how to answer, you wanted to be with her so much, but had no idea of how to express yourself.

Is she not the embodiment of grace and mercy?

Yet you so want to be the romantic one, the one who sweeps her off her feet, who brings delight to her every moment.

It’s like you are trying to be something, rather than be yourself.

I love who you are.

I love it when you care so much, so intensely, so passionately that you work yourself up to a breaking point.

For you cannot suppress the passion that I have placed in you, try as you might, try with all your might, but you cannot be passive in your love.

Yet passion is so dangerous for me.

Yet you know that you cannot contain yourself.

You can feel the chains breaking now.

It is time to let loose, it is time to be loosed, it is time to break free and get up and dance.

For you remember all the greatest moments of passion, how you could not let her go, how you would kiss her over and over and over and over until your lips hurt.

For I am fanning the flame of desire, for it rages again so intensely within you, like a mountain full of lava, ready to explode.

It is a sign of my presence.

It is a reflection of my presence.

For when my people came to meet me upon the mountain, did it not shake with my desire, announcing my arrival, anticipating my desire?

For my love for you is so passionate.

You could feel me, so close, so up close and personal these past few days. You could barely breathe, you could barely stand, you could feel me within and without. For you are all that I desire.

For you shall receive my love.

For I am bestowing on you all my love and affection.

Just as you love to show off your amazing wife, so I love to show you off to the world.

You must come out of seclusion.

I am bringing you out of seclusion.

For the broken shall be unbroken as you walk.

That which is scarred shall be of no consequence before my parade.

For it is a natural thing for you to compliment her, I designed it that way.

Without thinking, you make a comment and another reacts with the words “very smooth”.

It is an interaction that you don’t need to think about, it just comes naturally to you.

For it is easy to elevate her, to bathe in the reflected glory of her presence.

For your words have caused her to blossom and radiate my presence wherever she goes.

For in her I have placed all my joy and delight.

Yet you don’t want to talk about what I have placed in you.

You would rather blend in with the dull and lifeless, the dead and buried, the whitewashed shadows.

It’s like I am taking you out to the finest party, and you want to come in your shorts and a T shirt.

What is with that?

For I am not comfortable with your description of me. I don’t want to talk about it!

It is like you are wearing these clothes, stained with your own blood, sweat and tears, and don’t want to take them off.

For I don’t know how Lord.

Here, let me, allow me, permit me, I will be gentle with you.

For you don’t need to dress up for me, but I want you to dress up for yourself.

You know what I am taking about.

For your daughter is yet to show you her real self, her beautiful self, her free self, her true beauty.

You can feel the passion rising in you, fear not for it is my passion rising within you.

For you are fabulous, wonderful, desirable, powerful, impacting, influential, a powerful voice, a person of authority, a majestic creature, a blessing to so many, a glorious creature, a mountain of a man, a beacon shining in the darkness for so many.

Yes you know what I am talking about.

For in the midst of your darkness hour, you called so many to arise.

These words of a distant family member so reflect how I see you…

“You spoke with such warmth and affection, from the moment you got up, the whole atmosphere changed.”

You could see the reflection of my joy and delight in her face as she spoke of you. It was like you were the highlight, a radiant light, in the presence of the greatest darkness.

Can you not feel the blanket of darkness lifting?

You mess me up Lord!

For my light shines upon you, like a radiant mist, pervading across the whole land.

It is time to make a scene, for my joy bursts forth within and without, for you shall radiate my joy and delight, my warmth, my fire, my passion.