Let me hear your voice

Let me hear your voice.

“I know you love to listen, but let me hear your voice.”

Song of Songs 2:14 [So I went with him, and when we were climbing the rocky steps up the hillside, my beloved shepherd said to me] O my dove, [while you are here] in the seclusion of the clefts in the solid rock, in the sheltered and secret place of the cliff, let me see your face,let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.

It is hard to speak when the words will not come. The ache of my heart weighs heavy upon my soul. It drains the life from my bones, it causes my feet to sag, to be as one without life. I sit here in the place of isolation, I’m not talking to anyone!

Hebrews 12:13 And cut through and make firm and plain and smooth, straight paths for your feet [yes, make them safe and upright and happy paths that go in the right direction], so that the lame and halting [limbs] may not be put out of joint, but rather may be cured.

Betrayed by friends, well meaning friends that genuinely care, but are misguided, bound up in the stronghold of their thinking, their mindset, mind set on fractured, distorted, falsehood, disguised as truth. They sink the knife in, but then offer to mop up the blood. They invite relationship, they extend their hand, but as you come close, strike you hard across the face, and then when you step back, they accuse you of being distant.

Surely this is the work of the devil. He parades as the angel of light, but at his heart is pitch blackness, the darkest of dark thoughts, intentions and desires. What a contrast to my God, who veils His approach in the storm, and then reaches forth his hand to rescue us.

Psalms 18:9-11 He bowed the heavens also and came down; and thick darkness was under His feet. And He rode upon a cherub [a storm] and flew [swiftly]; yes, He sped on with the wings of the wind. He made darkness His secret hiding place; as His pavilion (His canopy) round about Him were dark waters and thick clouds of the skies. Psalms 18:16-19 He reached from on high, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy and from those who hated and abhorred me, for they were too strong for me. They confronted and came upon me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my stay and support. He brought me forth also into a large place; He was delivering me because He was pleased with me and delighted in me.

What to do with such friends, those you have offered much to, for so long, sacrificed much, lost much, poured out yourselves so much for! But they just don’t get it! Try and explain as much as you might, but they come from such an opposite place, and hold fast to it! Can the North stretch forth its hand and grasp that of the South? Surely not! Stretch as I might, with all my might…. all that is achieved is exhaustion!

Can we not just meet in the middle? Can light mingle with the darkness? No it remains distinct from it! The darkness within me rises up, and I would have my vengeance upon them! I will overtake them, and recover all! If they want a fight, I will release the hurt, the anger, the frustration pent up for years within me, and wreak havoc and ruin as I explode with rage!!! But surely this is the bait of Satan! For vengeance is mine saith the Lord!

His not mine!

Romans 12:12-21 Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of God’s people [sharing in the necessities of the saints]; pursue the practice of hospitality. Bless those who persecute you [who are cruel in their attitude toward you]; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief]. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty (snobbish, high-minded, exclusive), but readily adjust yourself to [people, things] and give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits. Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is honest and proper and noble [aiming to be above reproach] in the sight of everyone. If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for [God’s] wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head. Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good.

Can I not overcome, by shining light in their darkness, illuminating their path, showing them a better way? I have done this, time and time and time and time again, over and over! But they abuse my generosity, they take me for granted, and grant me nothing back in return, but disappointment!

I have realized that, they actually now seek to dis appoint me, to rob me of my appointment, to distract me from my purpose!

They are like Sanballat to me, all they want me to do is come down. But I will NOT come DOWN. He has called me UP, to come out, to come up. I refuse to go down!

For He lifts me UP from the miry clay and sets my feet upon a rock, and establishes my comings and goings.

He will turn, and is turning that which drains, into a gushing fountain that will not run dry but overflows across the land. He is turning me, from the old path to embrace the new, to walk in the new!

I was born to be the mother of many children, to build a nursery, to expand that which contains, not to lack but to overflow. Like the mother of Moses, to give birth to the one who delivers from captivity, to release the chosen seed, into the hands of the enemy and to be paid to raise him UP!

Psalms 40:1-5 ​I WAITED patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me UP out of a horrible pit [a pit of tumult and of destruction], OUT of the miry clay (froth and slime), and set my feet UPON a rock, steadying my steps and establishing my goings. And He has put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many shall see and fear (revere and worship) and put their trust and confident reliance in the Lord. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man who makes the Lord his refuge and trust, and turns not to the proud or to followers of false gods. Many, O Lord my God, are the wonderful works which You have done, and Your thoughts toward us; no one can compare with You! If I should declare and speak of them, they are too many to be numbered.

I sing as a barren woman, I cry aloud, I pour out all the pain, the muck, the darkness, I set the darkness free! I shall be free of it! For where the spirit of the Lord is there IS freedom! I exchange that which is bound, for that which is loosed!

2 Timothy 4:6 For I am already about to be sacrificed [my life is about to be poured out as a drink offering]; the time of my [spirit’s] release [from the body] is at hand and I will soon go free.

I roll my way on to Yahweh and He works!