Legion

What does it mean to be free?

I don’t know what to write, for I don’t know much about it Lord!

Right now I would define freedom, as the ability to disregard, to have no regard, to be without regard. To not consider, to be inconsiderate, to be insensitive, to be without sense, to make no sense. To have no regard for anyone else’s plans, priorities, needs, concerns, desires, or wants.

You ask me to come away, yet I cannot be away, wherever I go the demands of the many follow me.

Yet I cannot be what I just observed. Two lar-de-dah women sitting in the coffee shop, displaying no regard for others. Making a big deal over a small thing, ruining the party, destroying the atmosphere, choosing to complain rather than celebrate and encourage.

I feel the tension between my desire and my values, between who I want to be and how I feel.

For it is in my DNA to care, to protect, to lift up, to help, to educate, to mentor, to fix that which was broken. It hurts me the most when those around me say they need no help. I am more than frustrated when they look for a specific type of help or when I lack the skill they need to really be helped.

Yet I have called you out, I have called you out from under, I have called you to be over not under. You have received instruction, now I want you to give instruction. From peasant to prince to king.

Yet I was never a peasant Lord!

I love it when you correct me, for you see yourself as a peasant, but from birth you were born a prince, “son of….” You name was known as “son of…” Son of he who was most respected, he who was and is a giant amongst the grasshoppers. So why behave as a peasant, when you are the son of the king?

From the early days I decided to be self sufficient, never to put myself in a position to rely on others, as my father did. I was convinced that we did not have enough, although I came to realise that we had so much more than most. For the material has become immaterial to me.

Yet the bills need to be paid, the needs of the client need to be met, the wide open space is yet to be found.

Yet what if I told you, that space was yours to inhabit right now? For in the tightest space, in the most claustrophobic moment, I am present. For what is your place of habitation? Are you not free? Who told you, you were captive? For you are legion, bound with many chains, yet strong enough to break them all. Mark 5:3-9 This man continually lived among the tombs, and no one could subdue him any more, even with a chain; For he had been bound often with shackles for the feet and handcuffs, but the handcuffs of chains he wrenched apart, and the shackles he rubbed and ground together and broke in pieces; and no one had strength enough to restrain or tame him. Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always shrieking and screaming and beating and bruising and cutting himself with stones. And when from a distance he saw Jesus, he ran and fell on his knees before Him in homage, And crying out with a loud voice, he said, What have You to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? What is there in common between us? I solemnly implore you by God, do not begin to torment me! For Jesus was commanding, Come out of the man, you unclean spirit! And He asked him, What is your name? He replied, My name is Legion, for we are many. For you know how the story ends… Mark 5:15-17 And they came to Jesus and looked intently and searchingly at the man who had been a demoniac, sitting there, clothed and in his right mind, the same man who had had the legion of demons; and they were seized with alarm and struck with fear. And those who had seen it related in full what had happened to the man possessed by demons and to the hogs. And they began to beg Jesus to leave their neighborhood. Are you not free? Have I not given you the power to break every chain? You feel it again now don’t you? For by your hand I will break every chain…. For the powers of darkness are seized with alarm and awestruck with fear at the sound of your name. They asked me to leave, but I left you behind… For I have given you power to destroy all that which opposes you. You want to turn down the dial, in your flesh you wish you were retired, yet I’m turning it up, I am turning it around, for that which comes against you, you shall dominate. For they shall come against you, come up close and personal, and yet in a moment I will turn them around. For what is against you, shall now be for you, what came to take you out, you shall take out. For I know your story and how it ends. Write it from my perspective…