How do you feel?

How do you feel?

I hadn’t planned to write.

It is a nice day outside, and I am tired. Much has been said these past few days.

And yet, and yet He calls…

I thought I’d watch an old movie, and just chill….

And yet… I was going to call this an interruption, and yet… Surely our life is an “interruption” to His call, his voice.

Here I am alone, but not alone, never alone, for He is always with me. He is no imaginary friend, He is the one who creates imagination. And more – what He imagines, comes into being, for what He speaks of, shall come to pass.

Oh can you feel him…..

I feel him right now, sitting here overlooking the river, with the world walking by. I was going to say it is like He is sitting next to me, opposite me, beside me, behind me, but so powerfully inside me.

I just came from an awesome conference, the last person to speak introduced as a “general” of the faith. He is the Pastor of a church of 54,000 in a city of 400,000 people. He carries a presence and a strength, but speaks so loud I needed to put ear plugs in to hear him. He spoke of one verse

1 Samuel 10:6 Then the Spirit of the Lord will come upon you mightily, and you will show yourself to be a prophet with them; and you will be turned into another man.

I had hoped to be less tired and more tuned in, but have not had much sleep these past few weeks.

I feel the contrast, the light and the shade, the heavy and the dark.

The prior session was huge, hard to describe, but of an entirely different impact.

As a church we are big on honouring preachers when they come to speak, and we all stand expectant of what God is going to say to us through them. I had been standing for the worship time, then sat momentarily before this man, small in stature came on to the stage.

As the host introduced him, I felt this manifest presence, like a mist all across the building, it could only be the Lord! I went to get to my feet, but I could not stand!

What the heck! It was the opposite of what happened at a previous conference, where I stood in agreement with the first point of the sermon and then try as I might I could not sit for 45mins until the sermon had concluded.

It’s funny how the second sermon for me just confirmed what had happened in the first. How we operate is not based in human logic or reason but by His spirit.

Zechariah 4:6 Then he said to me, This [addition of the bowl to the candlestick, causing it to yield a ceaseless supply of oil from the olive trees] is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of hosts.

Don’t get me wrong, in my flesh I am far more wired to logic and reason more than most, my best subject at uni was logic (96%). But God just messes with my human logic, regularly and repeatedly! I was taught at a young age that these more “spiritual” gifts were only for a season, and are no more. And yet, I find myself with an overdose of these at a level that just messes me up! Here I am in a conference of 15000 radical Christians, who are standing and praising God with all their might, and I am the one who cannot get up!

It is time to fan this flame and to step it up and claim all that God has purposed.

Well I had planned to post this a couple of days ago, but felt there was more to say…

Well times have certainly changed…. I remember going to conferences in my youth, where the biggest challenge was to not die of boredom, and here I am at the end of another where I feel physically wrecked by the fullness of the experience!

Last night I could not help but look around at the crowd at the end of a very hectic week. Given the physicality and the length of the days, you would expect the crowd to be tired and sleepy and lacking in enthusiasm. But no, the view across the full stadium was like that of a rave party, where everyone was jubilant and joyful and singing and dancing!

In my spirit I see huge breakthrough coming, the harvest ripe for the picking! In my flesh I feel like I have been kicked by a horse, and there is not a part of my body that doesn’t hurt!

I feel like Gideon, bruised and battered and hiding from the onslaught of the enemy. And yet it is this word the rings loudly in my ears from the week, an echo of what my father has said to me every week over the last 2 years.

“You mighty man of valour, go in this your might”

It is funny how over time if a phrase is repeated its impact can be lessened. Over time I would go from a high degree of interest in what this phrase meant, to just smiling at my dad when he repeated it.

But now again, it is front and centre and has my full attention!

I feel trampled upon, and yet must go, will go in “what strength I have” as the best preacher at the conference said.

Judges 6:12-16 And the Angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, The Lord is with you, you mighty man of [fearless] courage. And Gideon said to him, O sir, if the Lord is with us, why is all this befallen us? And where are all His wondrous works of which our fathers told us, saying, Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt? But now the Lord has forsaken us and given us into the hand of Midian. The Lord turned to him and said, Go in this your might, and you shall save Israel from the hand of Midian. Have I not sent you? Gideon said to Him, Oh Lord, how can I deliver Israel? Behold, my clan is the poorest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house. The Lord said to him, Surely I will be with you, and you shall smite the Midianites as one man.

What does the whole concept of valour mean?

Valour great courage in the face of danger, especially in battle. synonyms: bravery, courage, fearlessness, courageousness, braveness, intrepidity, intrepidness, pluck, pluckiness, nerve, backbone, spine, heroism, stout-heartedness, manliness, manfulness, audacity, boldness, gallantry, daring, spirit, fortitude, mettle, dauntlessness, doughtiness, hardihood, guts, spunk, bottle, ballsiness;

So it is more about courage than strength. For God does not say to Gideon, go in this MY strength, he says go in this YOUR strength!

When Gideon complains about his position, his heritage, his wealth, his weakness… Gods response “Have I not sent you!”

It struck me just now that throughout the conference there where these video clips on the theme “Let’s go”. There is much to be said about just going. For to advance leads to an advance when the Lord sends you!

Has He not appointed us, and anointed us, and called us to go and see His word fulfilled! For me His word is

Isaiah 58:11-12 And the Lord shall guide you continually and satisfy you in drought and in dry places and make strong your bones. And you shall be like a watered garden and like a spring of water whose waters fail not. And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of [buildings that have laid waste for] many generations; and you shall be called Repairer of the Breach, Restorer of Streets to Dwell In.

So I say “Let’s go!” And smite the enemy as “one man”, for we are not outnumbered, we ride with the One. who is called “Triumph!”