Hope Deferred

Hope deferred makes the heart sick. These words echo in my head as I rest my head upon the pillow. I cannot remember the rest of the verse, try as I might… I’m tired of the deferral, the delay, without deference. I’m tired of people moving at a snails pace. They plod along, they take their time and mine, without any sense of urgency, without any respect for my time, without any enthusiasm for the prize. I’m sick of the delay, I’m tired of wasting my time, I’m tired of putting out so much, but receiving so little. I’m sick of my limited capacity, I’m physically sick and tired. My hope slips away and falls from my hand. My hand is tired of holding on, holding on to hope…. and then I wake up to view the news and the posts of my friends to see this… Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Oh Lord you know my every thought, and yet you care enough to meet me where I am at.

Am I not that which you long for?

Am I not your desire?

Am I not your Hope?

For you cannot let go of hope, for Hope holds on to you!

Hope holds on to you….

You mess me up Lord..

You struggle to keep your composure, here have mine.

Let’s make beautiful music together.

For your hand rests upon the shore, as the waves and wind roll.

Here take my fullness without effort. Fullness of sand from the wind, fullness of water from the sea. Is this not the place where the waves and billows roll?

Don’t you love the sound?

Why so tense, why so irritated, why so “on edge”?

For I have designed you for the edge, to stand on the high places of the earth, on the pinnacle, on the high point. Is this not the picture that defines you, for you are not ordinary.

Why shrink back when the enemy says come up higher.

Did I not say, have you not heard? I have GIVEN you the HIGH GROUND!

1 Samuel 14:6-16 And Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, Come, and let us go over to the garrison of these uncircumcised; it may be that the Lord will work for us. For there is nothing to prevent the Lord from saving by many or by few. And his armor-bearer said to him, Do all that is in your mind; I am with you in whatever you think best. Jonathan said, We will pass over to these men and we will let them see us. If they say to us, Wait until we come to you, then we will stand still in our place and will not go up to them. But if they say, Come up to us, we will go up, for the Lord has delivered them into our hand, and this will be our sign. So both of them let the Philistine garrison see them. And the Philistines said, Behold, the Hebrews are coming out of the holes where they have hidden themselves. The garrison men said to Jonathan and his armor-bearer, Come up to us and we will show you a thing. Jonathan said to his armor-bearer, Come up after me, for the Lord has given them into Israel’s hand. Then Jonathan climbed up on his hands and feet, his armor-bearer after him; and the enemy fell before Jonathan, and his armor-bearer killed them after him. And that first slaughter which Jonathan and his armor-bearer made was about twenty men within about a half acre of land which a yoke of oxen might plow. And there was trembling and panic in the Philistine camp, in the field, and among all the men; the garrison, and even the raiders trembled; the earth quaked, and it became a terror from God. Saul’s watchmen in Gibeah of Benjamin looked, and behold, the multitude melted away and went hither and thither.

Move from holding YOUR ground to taking MY ground.

For have I not given you this ground to possess?

You feel like you have no right, you act like you have no right, that you are trespassing on the enemies ground.

Yet have I not declared that this ground is yours?

You shrink back, curl up in a ball and wrap the layers of confinement around you, layer upon layer.

Have I not called you to be confident, exuberant and expansive?

Are these not the names I have called you? Is this not your triplet?

Who told you to abandon all hope?

You need to work on your grammar, for I said abandon all, HOPE!

You try to keep it together, to contain all, to manage all, and yet have lost Hope.

Hope holds on to you!

I don’t want you to cry, but I do want to make a point, let’s go back to that word. For you could handle the “longing”, but you wrestle with the “dream”. For your heart breaks at the continual tangling of the carrot, the deferral of hope..

Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick,but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. I’m so tired of this Lord, yet I refuse to abandon the dream, I am at the breaking point, something has got to give!

Have I not already given you so much?

Yes Lord, your Goodness and Mercy attend to my way, yet you have given me the dream, are you not at the centre of it? Have you not promised that the vision will not tarry. I am tired of the delay.

Have I not ordered your steps, commanded your steps, set forth the destination?

Let’s go to the other side…

Thank you Lord for I am so keen to get to the other side of this. The other side looks awesome, the place of our calling, the land of the promise.

You say “are we there yet”, and yet you don’t realise that you have arrived.

For you are not an insect, you are an iron, you are not a bound up captive, captive to that which harrows, but have become a harrow that flattens the mountain.

Have I not given you the words to speak? For the mountain shall be cast into the sea.

Can anything get in my way, am I not called “The Way”.

Galatians 6:9-10 And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint. So then, as occasion and opportunity open up to us, let us do good morally to all people not only being useful or profitable to them, but also doing what is for their spiritual good and advantage. Be mindful to be a blessing, especially to those of the household of faith those who belong to God’s family with you, the believers.

Hope holds on to you…