Deuce

Taken advantage of.

Taken for granted.

A choice to take that which would have been so generously given.

A disregard.

Without regard.

Taken for a fool.

Without respect.

Without honour.

A smiling sweetly, yet behind the scenes something more sinister.

A hurtful thing.

An unrighteous act.

Torn between the desire to avenge, to react, and to give the gift of love to the one you love.

You can so relate to Joseph right now.

Oh the horror of it all.

I know you want to just make a scene.

I know you want to really lose the plot.

For you have a right to be upset.

You have a justified right to be mad.

For to take from the miserly one could be understood, but to take from the generous one, you find hard to forgive.

Yet I know that you have already forgiven her.

It is the after effects.

It is the wave upon wave, the relentless wave of emotion.

The cumulative effect of the after effect.

It is like an aftershock from an unexpected earthquake, you sit and wonder where will it all end?

You are so tired of the shaking.

Tired of being told how you should feel.

Tired of being the one holding everything up.

Tired of being held up.

Tired of being under arrest.

Tired of putting your hands up.

Tired of putting your hands out, of giving a helping hand.

Why is the world so broken you want to ask.

Yet what is it I have shown you now?

The flame bursting out, soaring upwards, in the midst of the darkness, breaking asunder that which fuelled it.

For I am stoking the fire.

I am fanning the flame.

Can I just have a time out! Can I not just have a moment!

What is it you see now?

The look of glory, the radiance of glory, the look of love, the face of kindness, the embrace of the one I love.

>You mess me up Lord!

Have I not given you an insurmountable advantage?

For what does it matter to lose a grain of sand when I have given you the whole beach?

I know you feel the pain of it all.

I know it hurts.

For you feel the loss of what could have been.

For the enemy loves to steal, yet I love to give.

My gift smiles at you.

My gift sits with you.

My gift holds your hand.

My gift waits upon you.

My gift makes a way.

My gift finds a way.

My gift lifts you out.

My gift causes you to refocus.

No-one knows.

No-one knows.

No-one knows the love I have given you.

No-one can fathom its height, its depth.

The revealing of it, the caressing of it, the unveiling of it, the exposing of it, is your destiny.

When she asks “what are you going to do with me?” Your answer is without words, for your intent, your desire, your response is to love her.

You care not for her performance.

When she slips up, or says the wrong thing, you cannot stay mad with her, you cannot walk away, for my love compels you to come close.

For you are so drawn to her.

My love overflows in the midst.

My love is poured out in the midst.

My love lights up the way.

Like a glow, all aglow, radiating my warmth and affection for all those who come near.

My love sweeps up the broken pieces.

My love washes away the pain.

My joy flows upon you.

My joy takes advantage of you.

My joy overwhelms you.

And now you know.

And now you know what it means to count it all joy when you suffer.

For can anything distract you from my love?

Can anything cause you to turn away?

For even when you withdraw, you can feel the drawing.

For the tension rises for your hurt causes you to retreat, your love causes you to come forward.

For you remember it so strongly now, so infatuated with her, that when she rattled off her “faults” your face just lit up with joy and love.

You are beginning to understand what a gift it is to receive beauty for ashes.

Beauty transforms.

Beauty lifts you up.

Beauty lights up the way.

Beauty causes you to rise from the ashes.

Beauty gives you the greatest advantage.

When beauty walks with you, holds your hand, embraces you, smiles at you, blesses you, there can be no disadvantage.

It compels you to focus, it draws your attention, it focuses the mind.

For I have seen the way you look at her.

Beyond blessed.

Beyond all notion of hurt.

Beyond yourself.

Full immersion.

Bathe in my love and affection.

Embrace the beauty I have given you.

For the world seeks advantage but I offer a draw.

A drawing.

Not wrestling for advantage, not trying to win, but a drawing.

A coming together.