Cut your losses

In the place of the coming.

In the place of togetherness.

In the place of unity.

In the place of intimacy.

I am pouring out all my love and affection.

For that which whelms up inside you, that which you try so hard to suppress, to contain, to tune out, now rises before you.

For it pours from your pores when you pause.

If you stop to smell the roses, all you smell is the stench of the losses, the overwhelming grief.

For all that you have been running from has now caught up with you.

Loss after loss, loss chasing loss, wherever you look all you see are the losses.

It is not hard for you to see the thief everyday taking away something from you.

Whether it is the time or the money, or the ability to choose, or the freedom to come and go.

All you have left is the one who loves you, yet she does not understand the true depths of your grief.

Yet you say to yourself “what is the point of explaining the depths, the breadth and the height of the pain, for there is nothing to be gained from examining the ruins, there is no joy to be found amidst the ashes.”

And yet I have given you pause!

For when you look at her, you can only be captivated by her beauty!

Is this not the true manifestation of all my goodness and kindness to you!

Absolutely!

And yet what is it I woke you up with?

The dream car backing up before me, as I stood there, all I could feel is the separation from what was so meaningful to me, and my inability to do anything about it.

And yet what were the words you heard from my lips?

All that is lost now retreats from you, all that was lost is now behind you!

All that was stolen shall now fall behind you, and shall have no power over you.

For I am breaking the chains that hold you back.

For when you have lost everything all that is left is gain.

For I am cutting your losses.

I am breaking the connection to all your losses.

Say unto yourself “I am NOT tied up right now!”

Be untied.

Be unwrapped.

Come out of bounds.

Break free from the bonds.

Let go of all that was lost.

For here you have found yourself.

I know you asked me a question a few months ago what was it?

How can I write a book about Beauty for Ashes, when all I see is beauty?

Well now you have some material for your book.

Know you know what ashes look like.

I am sorry I asked!

For you shall see it all recede from your eyes.

When others talk about recession, you will talk about moving on from loss into the gain.

For the losses recede into the distance, in order to make way for the gains the proceed as you move forward.

For we do not look back, to shrink back, to recede, to batten down, to confine ourselves to bondage, to hold ourselves captive, to restrain ourself.

We look forward, to expand, to proceed, to establish, to release the captives, to reform not to perform, to rebuild, to announce the birth of a new era.

For old fades away as the new begins to blossom.

I could see the look on your face as the mystery of your love continues to unfold.

The look on her face was priceless, the look of genuine excitement for that which is to come.

There you were trying not to lose the plot completely, as she was describing how wonderful the end of the story would be!

For I know how much you love happy endings, and stories of great adventure always involve great highs and the lowest of lows.

I was going to say that it is so hard to climb up from here, and as I thought this you flashed me back to a picture of my beloved looking down towards me in the pit with a big smile on her face. Bursting forth with delight, overflowing with delight. With the words “best get on with it then! For the view is so much better up here!”

It seems I always have the choice to deny my grief and embrace the beauty and delight of the one I love. I have no desire to have her join me in the pit of despair, yet even you Jesus wept at the loss of Lazarus even though you know how that story would end!

Yet my love stands alongside you, my love is always here for you, when you don’t know what to feel, how to feel, what to say or do, I am here for you.

Sometimes I just want to walk away from myself and not come back!

Sounds like a great plan! Let’s go!

For staying buried in the ashes is not your destiny!

For wait and see!

This is a story of beauty not of ashes.

This is a story of one replacing the other.

One overtaking the other, one growing in the place of loss, one blossoming in the place of loss, beauty overshadowing all that lies beneath, beauty rising and growing from the place of death and destruction.

For you know this much, the explosion of a volcano generates a cloud of ash, and yet after some time the place of utter devastation becomes the most fertile place.

For your time has come, for the barren place, the place of lack, shall now be called the fertile place of lush abundance.

Now go and celebrate my goodness that was, and is, and is to come.