Chosen

I have made my choice.

I have made my choice.

I chose you from the beginning.

I chose you before you were able to make a choice.

I chose you before you could choose me.

You are my chosen one.

I have set you apart.

I chose you for a purpose, on purpose, for a purpose.

I was deliberate in my choice.

I was not flippant in choosing you.

I did not have a “what the heck” moment in choosing you.

I carefully selected you.

How does it feel to be chosen?

I only know how to answer that from the perspective of receiving the ultimate gift. The gift of my beloved. She was and is so much more than I could have ever asked for. I like to think I made the choice to become her husband, but from the moment you presented her to me, I knew she would be my beloved. I knew the choice you had made for me. For me this is no ordinary love story. Not the boy meets girl and they fall in love. This was the story of the very doors of heaven opening and my beloved coming through to greet me.

This is no ordinary story. This is the story of your love poured out so richly upon me.

Yet how did you feel at the start of the journey?

So compelled, so drawn, so powerless to resist, so incapable of forming the words by which I could respond. Yet you were so kind to me, you are so kind to me. I felt so helpless to resist, yet so drawn to your love, so overwhelmed by your love. So caught up in a whirlwind of love, that I had no frame of reference, no means to move forward, no way to go back. Like the choice had been made for me, but what a wonderful choice. Like a passenger on a whole new journey of life, that the only way forward is to hold your hand and to hold the hand of the one I love.

Yet you missed the step before.

There was a big step before.

I chose you for her, just as much as I chose her for you.

Yet she brings me so much joy and delight, I feel like I have brought her on this grand adventure that had so many dark places, I wonder where is the gift to her? Where is the blessing for her?

Yet you only see that which is empty, I see the place that awaits my fullness.

What other life would you have chosen for her?

I feel like that is a trick question Lord. For I know this is the life you have chosen for us.

But what is your answer to it?

A life where she had more choices, more options, more joy, more hope, more ease, more community, more of what she wanted, and less of the pain of the “adventure”.

What word is it you hear over and over in your head?

Rerouting! Rerouting! Rerouting!

And what do you have to say in response?

We cannot go back to the old course, we are not off course.

I feel like we are spinning around in circles and need help to get into the new life you have for us.

It is true that I have given you new dots to join.

It is true that the means to connect them requires exploration.

Well Lord show us the way, give us traction, move us forward, as we are lost without you.

Did I not say I have given you a wide open space to explore?

I sense that your enemy wants to confine you to a never ending circle.

Repeat after me “Of Course!”

Bolding declare a way forward.

Be like Joshua, go and tell them on this date we are crossing over, we are possessing the land, we are possessing all that we have the opportunity to possess.

You are such a laugh.

You crack me up.

As you reflect upon the words I gave you yesterday, what is your summary of what took place?

Businesses need strong leadership that inspires them, provides the structure to get these done, calls people up higher to become all they can be, provides a means of social engagement that is fun and exciting.

As I reflect upon that time this is what I saw:

They hung off every word from you, they laughed with you at your comments, you inspire them to be better. They looked to your for leadership, as you supported and affirmed them.

You pause and wonder whether you would choose yourself.

You pause and wonder who you are and what you have become.

I am laughing at myself, because it is easier to define the benefits associated with the gift, when it is given, when the task is performed. Yet you have shown me that I am in fact the gift that needs to be given.

You remember now what I have said to you a long time ago?

>es Lord, “don’t be reserved, for I have made a reservation for you, this seat is reserved for you, this seat has your name on it”

So don’t try to figure everything out, don’t try to provide the perfect answer, just put yourself out there, just take a step forward.

You make me laugh so much Lord! You know what I am laughing about don’t you!

Yes the time where you could not help yourself, the time were all you could do was fully express your desire, the time were you were so excited, that you could not help yourself!

Yes I had just spent the most wonderful time on the beach for the second time. This time was the time of the times. This time was in response to her invitation, to her letter. I could not help myself but to say “it would be great to have you come skiing with me”. I was so excited I can feel it even again now. But then I caught myself being too pushy and gave her an out. And afterwards all I could do was push myself again to invite her again.

You know what I am going to say don’t you?

Yes Lord! You are going to say it is time to be excited again, to be passionate again, to recklessly express my desire again, to throw caution to the wind.

You are so kind to me Lord, for now that I know what I know about you and my beloved, my only regret is that I did not respond to her first request to lunch.

I know you don’t like to regret anything, but I want you to get this.

She chose you from the very beginning!

For my love responds to you.

For my love chooses you.

I love you warts and all!