Cast down

Do not be downcast, but cast down.

For the darkness draws you in.

I can see it in your eyes.

I can feel it upon you, I can sense it within you, I can feel it pulling you under.

For he draws you in, he says to you "what is the point of all of this?", "so many who have worked much less than you, own more than you", "so many sit there with their feet up, but you push with all your might, and what do you have to show for it?", "when you offer all that you have for free, only a few consider your offer worthy of attention."

I know you are watching over your word to perform it, but surely the time for watching is over, and the time for the performance is now?

In the meantime I will do all that I can to stand.

I stand on your word, your promises, and yet it all feels like a bad dream, for all that you have spoken about seems so far from reach.

Did I not say you are beyond it?

Yes Lord, but surely I am not beyond redemption, beyond the blessings that you so easily confer upon others. I know I have reaped all that I have sown into my family. But have I not sown into your promised land? And yet I await the reaping of those promises?

I know you feel like you want to cast yourself down. I know the path that takes you. To a more meaningless end.

I feel like I have a million things that you asked me to do, that are unfinished. And the current focus will never be complete. Wave upon wave it comes at me, with no respite. And any time of peace remains without respite.

Have I not obeyed your command? Have I not sacrificed all for you?

And yet you refuse to release yourself, to expose yourself, to manifest yourself, to unhide yourself.

And yet what does that even mean? If I focus on the one thing I barely make a dent in it, if I focus on everything, then everything is delayed. Help me Lord. Define my focus, for you are my focus.

I can see you hanging up your cape, for if you don't know what to do, you would rather do nothing than be embarrassed. Yet you were once the one who gave no regard to how people perceived you. The one who was happy to stand out in a crowd.

I see you tangled up in protocol, in decorum, in the process of what to say and what not to say.

HAVE I NOT GIVEN YOU THE WORDS TO SAY!

It's like you have lost your voice, because you'd rather speak your words than mine!

I'm sorry Lord, but I am confused, what words do you want to release from my mouth?

Why don't you ask your assistant?

I'd rather ask you Lord for the detail, but it seems that you only want to give me the dream or the vision or the overall direction, but none of the detail. Will you help me with the detail?

You told me that I would understand the direction and the mechanics of how to get there. But what is the point of having a map, and a means to get there, if no-one is following you? I'd rather just hold your hand and walk off into the sunset.

I feel like once again, I care so much more about where others are going than they do.

It reminds me so much I how I felt when I offered to help the kids, but they refused my help for so many years until finally now they see the benefit.

Who you are, is of so much more value that what you do. And yet you focus on the doing so much more than simply revealing who you are.

Yet it seems that the means of connection for me, is in the doing, for the doing is the means to engage with our being.

I pressed into the many, I conceived the many, how do I deliver the many?

For one is the means to deliver the others.

The wave that is coming shall break open a way for the others.

For the dam will break and release the streams of abundance.

Your mission is prepare for that moment.

For some will desire education, others will just use the tools you have made.

Give your attention to the one as a means to deliver the others.

Ok, now we rely on you to open the doors of provision, for we have upon the ground of your word laid down the net.

Will you lift your expectation, for you have cast down that which is in your hand, will you trust me to bring forth all that I have promised?

Yes Lord, for my heart would have fainted unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. I am thankful of all that you have given me, and all that you are. Cause the foot of the enemy to stumble, utterly burn down the camp of the one who oppresses us. Break the chains of oppression in your name Jesus.