Anointed

And it flows over you.

Wave after wave.

Wave after wave.

Grief washes over you, wave after wave.

I can see it pooling in your eyes, try as you might to hide it.

For it pours from your pores when you pause.

For you propel yourself, you compel yourself, you command yourself to "keep moving."

For when you pause and reflect, it is too much for you to bear.

"I'm above you, I'm beneath you, I'm before you, I'm behind you"

You want to say "give me a break", but you don't really want to have one!

For it piles upon you, it weighs you down, like you are dragging all the baggage you have accumulated from your past.

When your beloved encourages you to write about the real story behind "our story", your reaction was visceral, much as you tried to hide it.

For outside of this moment, your world is full of so many things you don't want to talk about or revisit.

Wave upon wave.

For your answer is to wave good bye and move on.

But where ever you go, you feel so exposed to all that you have left behind.

Where is your source of comfort?

Where is the one who knew what you were thinking, without words?

Long departed.

Where is the one who always had a word from me, and was such a role model for all that you aspire to.

I am reminded of his departure, in the eyes and actions of my children.

For it pours from your eyes, when you pause.

And where is the one you love to place your hand upon?

With me and yet without me.

Without you I just feel broken.

And yet you keep showing me seated on the floor, being splashed over and over by the waves. With my head down, trying to catch my breath. And yet I feel like I am missing the point.

For my oil is restorative, my oil brings forth great joy, my oil brings great refreshment, my oil is special.

I was and am so confused about this whole "anointing thing". Like a dab of oil would make any difference in the natural. Yet all I see in the spirit are buckets of oil being poured out all over me. I sense you want a new level of empowerment for me. I hear the super spiritual saying "he is so anointed", yet I feel so far removed from any opportunity to exercise those gifts. Yet I walk into church and can barely stand, because your presence is so strong. I see all around me your visions coming to pass in the house of the Lord. Yet outside the house I just see the dunes of the desert and the shifting sands with nothing certain to navigate by.

Yet you are right where I want you to be. For you are the stream of living water in the desert place.

Yet if that were true would I not see signs of life, the sprouting of life in the driest desert. All I see seems to be a mirage. Yet I hold on to your word, that the mirage will become a pool, and the wilderness will blossom. Yet my strength fades and my vision is blurred by the heat of the day. Bring forth your promise, give us a sign of your favour, let us see more than one feeble seed with a tiny sprout. It seems there is a great chasm between all that you have shown me, and what I see with my eyes.

Yet your reception is off. Your ability to receive is broken. I see your hands more and more crossed, like you want to agree with the skeptics.

Yet you shall break the chains of confinement. You shall take a seat in the place of reservation.

For you shall be seated in the place of reservation.

Reserved for another but taken by you.

For you are not what they expected.

For you are so much more than they expected.

For they walk around like fathers waiting for the birth and then what I birthed long ago shows up before them.

For they had prepared a cradle to put “their baby” in but it is far too small for you.

For that which they expect as a child appears before them as an old man.

For your purpose is to mess with their perspective. Your very presence messes with their mindset.

Stop behaving like you are broken, when your purpose is to bring wholeness.

For when my purpose is fully grown.

For when that which I have purposed is fully grown appears.

They will say to you "how did you get here?", and you will say it was the path of brokenness that paved the way.

For all the slingstones that where thrown at you, have paved the way for your advance.

Intervene Lord, make a way Lord, where there is no way, make a way. Take me by the hand and lead us forward to the promised harvest.

For the one who is broken feels the pain of the one who is broken.

Yet the restorer of ancient ruins, takes that which is broken and crafts it into a masterpiece of wholeness.

Give us traction Lord, lift us out of the miry clay, set our feet upon a rock, and ESTABLISH our goings. Anoint us afresh for your glory.

For I have given you that which is broken, so that you make have breakthrough.

Speak wholeness and see wholeness.